i will never coherently bang her
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
