If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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