Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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