I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
