About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
