Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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