That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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