The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize