yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
