you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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