She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I understand Curling. That high.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
did i just pee glitter
Success! We fucked roommates!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
