I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Houston, we have a blender
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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