You really coming over, don't trick.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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