Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
