I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
