Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My bed smells like the plague
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize