She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
