i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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