I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
