Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
