Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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