how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
