that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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