Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
