I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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