I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
