You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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