You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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