Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
