If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
