Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize