if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
