Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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