i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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