the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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