Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
