Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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