Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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