the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
