all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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