Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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