She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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