Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize