Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
