Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
