Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
