the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize