i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
