My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
