I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
