So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
