I can tuck mytits in my pants
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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