hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
