She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
