I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
