i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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