So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
