So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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