Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
